This substack is the reason I have my own now. Even when I'm in a reading rut your writing is immune to the illness. Thank you for being the push I needed to start writing. Thank you for writing. Your work matters.
I met you the day before this TedX randomly. I was walking down the street in Midtown Atlanta singing a silly jingle to my friend about how I wanted a brownstone, imagining doing dishes with a Noah Baumbach type. A few minutes later we head into Publix to grab some movie treats, ice cream was our choice, and I glance over and see you in the checkout line and say to my friend, "Hey, look, isn't that American Baron?" And he agrees and convinces me it's okay that we walk up to you. I think to myself that you seem to be mourning something, a relationship maybe. Maybe just the Orville Reddenbacker (or was it Act II, idk) / a plethora of snacks that cued me in. I have no clue. The last thing you wanted to do is talk to strangers probably, thanks for giving us a minute of your time anyway though.
Then today, whilst lost in conversation with myself, the image hits me. It's the abstract drawing my 72 year old caricature of a therapist keeps coming back to (the one I keep staring blankly at, the truth of it not sinking in.) It's a blob of violet which is my true self, covered up by a bigger blob of black which is my false self, the one he says I've confused myself for. And he's right. My whole life has been a lie. I haven't done a damn thing because I wanted to. It was her who wanted these things: that degree, those friends, that portrayal, that shame. And I hated it. I realized, much like you did, that I haven't even lived my own life.
... Now I have to figure out how to unpiece that entangled being, day by day, but at least right now (who knows if I do tomorrow) I feel a change internally.
And then, there you were, in my email inbox sharing a similar story at such a peculiar timing. Just felt like I should share. Weird world we live in.
I remember running into you!!! Thanks for stopping to say hi, I felt so welcomed in Atlanta that night :) I don't know whether it is a terrific case of luck or something else at play that bring us the messages we need to hear when we need to hear it, but I'm glad it happens this way. My sister once gave the most honest review of a movie when she said, "I didn't like it, but I don't think it was the right time in my life to see it." I've always wondered whenever we hear advice, how we know it's good advice. How do we know this is true? I believe it's because that wisdom is dormant inside us until it is activated. We already know what is good, we just need reminding or a good waking up to see that what we think is true, was already true inside us all along. It just needed waking up. I'm glad this found you at a time when it needed to. I hope you make popcorn tonight, and I hope you enjoy it with giddy contentment that things have a way of working out in the end.
I remember discovering your skits years ago, and now to see you perform on Ted talk is so amazing! Your piece on the ted moved me, and I watched it during a moment in time where I was looking for something, some kind of understanding of what I was going through. Watching you felt like I was looking at myself in the mirror. Thank you so much for your work.
I used to run operations for TEDx in college and it was enormously fulfilling to watch the best TED and TEDx videos out there with our most storied advisor (this man was literally kidnapped by the military while on vacation in Brazil, but that’s besides the point). We took inspiration from all places and fed that into our massive event that always deserved larger audiences. Watching your talk brought me right back to that meeting room. To know that TED approved of this style is incredible and to also know that they didn’t change a thing is a testament to its greatness. Makes me want to go back and explore the form further. Congrats, this is worth a lifetime of pride!
your work is true amazing and it's a shame I can't find anything like it. please never stop writing and keep your ideas coming through, you have no idea how much you inspire people and open their eyes to their mundane life. thank you<3
This piece truly spoke to my soul. The perpetual fall into default settings is often too true. Thank you for writing this truly. Authenticity is the way into killing the people pleaser in all of us.
Thank you for sharing this! There is certainly a big difference between being aware of things and embodying them. I struggle with people pleasing, and although I have already done the mental work, my actions do not catch up yet. I feel seen by this, especially that sometimes even when we are aware of the cycles we are repeating, it is harder to stop, especially if they are rooted in our childhood.
Life changing video. Thank you so much for creating this and for being you. Your content always makes me feel so inspired, but this really hit home. Bravo dude.
This substack is the reason I have my own now. Even when I'm in a reading rut your writing is immune to the illness. Thank you for being the push I needed to start writing. Thank you for writing. Your work matters.
No matter how much good news or misfortune I experience in my life, this comment will always stay with me.
The world works in mysterious ways...
I met you the day before this TedX randomly. I was walking down the street in Midtown Atlanta singing a silly jingle to my friend about how I wanted a brownstone, imagining doing dishes with a Noah Baumbach type. A few minutes later we head into Publix to grab some movie treats, ice cream was our choice, and I glance over and see you in the checkout line and say to my friend, "Hey, look, isn't that American Baron?" And he agrees and convinces me it's okay that we walk up to you. I think to myself that you seem to be mourning something, a relationship maybe. Maybe just the Orville Reddenbacker (or was it Act II, idk) / a plethora of snacks that cued me in. I have no clue. The last thing you wanted to do is talk to strangers probably, thanks for giving us a minute of your time anyway though.
Then today, whilst lost in conversation with myself, the image hits me. It's the abstract drawing my 72 year old caricature of a therapist keeps coming back to (the one I keep staring blankly at, the truth of it not sinking in.) It's a blob of violet which is my true self, covered up by a bigger blob of black which is my false self, the one he says I've confused myself for. And he's right. My whole life has been a lie. I haven't done a damn thing because I wanted to. It was her who wanted these things: that degree, those friends, that portrayal, that shame. And I hated it. I realized, much like you did, that I haven't even lived my own life.
... Now I have to figure out how to unpiece that entangled being, day by day, but at least right now (who knows if I do tomorrow) I feel a change internally.
And then, there you were, in my email inbox sharing a similar story at such a peculiar timing. Just felt like I should share. Weird world we live in.
As always, thank you for your art, Baron.
I remember running into you!!! Thanks for stopping to say hi, I felt so welcomed in Atlanta that night :) I don't know whether it is a terrific case of luck or something else at play that bring us the messages we need to hear when we need to hear it, but I'm glad it happens this way. My sister once gave the most honest review of a movie when she said, "I didn't like it, but I don't think it was the right time in my life to see it." I've always wondered whenever we hear advice, how we know it's good advice. How do we know this is true? I believe it's because that wisdom is dormant inside us until it is activated. We already know what is good, we just need reminding or a good waking up to see that what we think is true, was already true inside us all along. It just needed waking up. I'm glad this found you at a time when it needed to. I hope you make popcorn tonight, and I hope you enjoy it with giddy contentment that things have a way of working out in the end.
I remember discovering your skits years ago, and now to see you perform on Ted talk is so amazing! Your piece on the ted moved me, and I watched it during a moment in time where I was looking for something, some kind of understanding of what I was going through. Watching you felt like I was looking at myself in the mirror. Thank you so much for your work.
Thanks Baron. If we ever meet I'll have you speak first so you don't just agree with whatever I say.
Can I log this on letterboxd?
I used to run operations for TEDx in college and it was enormously fulfilling to watch the best TED and TEDx videos out there with our most storied advisor (this man was literally kidnapped by the military while on vacation in Brazil, but that’s besides the point). We took inspiration from all places and fed that into our massive event that always deserved larger audiences. Watching your talk brought me right back to that meeting room. To know that TED approved of this style is incredible and to also know that they didn’t change a thing is a testament to its greatness. Makes me want to go back and explore the form further. Congrats, this is worth a lifetime of pride!
your work is true amazing and it's a shame I can't find anything like it. please never stop writing and keep your ideas coming through, you have no idea how much you inspire people and open their eyes to their mundane life. thank you<3
This piece truly spoke to my soul. The perpetual fall into default settings is often too true. Thank you for writing this truly. Authenticity is the way into killing the people pleaser in all of us.
Thanks for that! Writing our thoughts is the best way of expressing. But then also, actions speak louder than words.
Please come back 😭😭
Thank you for sharing this! There is certainly a big difference between being aware of things and embodying them. I struggle with people pleasing, and although I have already done the mental work, my actions do not catch up yet. I feel seen by this, especially that sometimes even when we are aware of the cycles we are repeating, it is harder to stop, especially if they are rooted in our childhood.
Amazing read! I encountered your work at Camp Film Fest and was truly inspired. Thanks for being you!
All I can say is: thanks for this.
I'm no one, but I am a resentful people-pleaser who has felt seen by this man. Thank you, Ryan!
Life changing video. Thank you so much for creating this and for being you. Your content always makes me feel so inspired, but this really hit home. Bravo dude.
this gave my brother and I something to bond over. thank you.
Urself comes first 🥂